Phenomenon's Partial Resignation (More-So activity change/duties)

[Phenomenon 398]

Hello everyone,

 

Many of you in game know me as the one and only Tevin. No matter how many alts i try to hide on, no matter how many times i change my name, World Peace, Hades, Phenomenon, and many many more i'm sure, I'm still Tevin. I've been a staff member on this server for quite some time now, at least half a year. I've been on this server as a whole for a total of 10 months, and worked my way up to the highest position at an extremely fast rate. My activity levels/hours were usually 18 hours a day, sometimes even more depending on the situation. Even though some people saw this as "He has no life" or "He's crazy", there was a valid reasoning behind this and i don't regret it one bit. Without getting too much into my IRL business, i will tell you what most people already know about me, and why i'm making this thread...

 

Before my life changed completely, i was a gifted athlete who was constantly on a grind in basketball. I had big things going for me but it all fell apart once i suffered a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). I'm still getting treatment for this sort of thing but it is not an easy recovery. I guess screen time for 90% of a week doesn't make it any better, but it's all i could do considering the only thing i did in life was taken from me. My new outlet to get away from my personal problems (Aside from the TBI) was definitely SpawnPK. I always wanted to be that guy that was seen as a hero, no matter how little people may see me this way, i wanted to be someone's hero. I wanted to make a difference in people's lives and show that even though life is seriously fucked up and not fair, you can get some real joy out of it. But i also wanted to pass on some of my values/morals as well, putting "Doing the right thing" above everything else, and how much the principal of karma plays a role in my life.

 

I suffer from a lot of mental illnesses/disorders IRL as well, making it even more difficult. A majority of you think i just play SpawnPK so often by choice, but it's literally the only thing that makes me feel joy/relaxed. Bipolar Disorder and Insomnia has definitely been the big problems in my life, but also struggling with severe anxiety, depression, and having seizures does not help either. My body/mind has even started to reject eating food and drinking water, which is a huge must for my medication types. I've lost 22 pounds ever since this has all started, and i am now 6'2 146 pounds. I never let this interfere with my job though, I always did the right thing and put aside all of my personal problems. I'll be honest with you guys, i'm not close with family, i've lost the only family member who ever really cared to suicide, i lost all my friends once my scholarship went away... The people i associated with only cared about what's going on in their lives, juicy drama, and what i could do for them. Now that i'm practically wasting away in my bed 24/7 due to illness, it's almost like i got ::clearfriends 'd . I love you guys to death, which is why i don't think i can fully give up on you guys.

 

What brings me to this thread today:

 

As of today, i will no longer be active as much as i used to be, and i might not be performing my duties as staff like i used to. I am recently (and still) discovering that the heart complications i have been experiencing are more serious than we thought, and i'm very uncomfortable and in a lot of pain now. I am currently attached to 2 separate devices that will constantly monitor my heart's activity while i wait for the CT's i have scheduled. I feel very uncomfortable trying to sleep, and i can't even lay down the way i want to (I game while lying down). Instead, i have to sit in a chair as i type this.

 

I understand how emotional a lot of you guys got when i made the announcement, and it immediately broke my already fucked up heart. So i decided to come up with an agreement, and maybe Ryan/Ramzi will agree (They most likely will, i just wanted to make this post so everyone know's why i'm acting different). I won't be full on dropping my rank and responsibilities, i will be active PRIMARILY ON FORUMS, as that is less stressful than the actual game in terms of helping others, and i can do this whilst i wait for my doctors, medicine pickups, bathroom, everything. I get bored very easily and go on my phone a lot, so forum work is still very possible. I can then hop on in game and do whatever i need to do.

 

Things i will most likely still assist with:

PIN's/Password related issues

Report A Player

Report A Bug

Media Section (I still would like to try and keep my youtube alive)

 

I love you all and thank you so much for your help through this difficult time... I refuse to give up on you guys, and i most likely will bounce back fast, after i get these damned devices off of me and see wtf is going on, as i don't know how to live a life without stress, it's all i know.

 

Thoughts?

[X King God X 42]

You not giving up on us if you get well. That will make us feel better, right now you need to get better. Even if you not active you still will be a staff member in my eyes. Maybe when you get better we can do 1v1 in basketball.

Get well

 

[1 9 7 7 10]

As a member of this community...I am really sad to see this. I hope you get well soon. I know that may seem far fetched but when I tell you that you are appreciated and loved. I mean it. You have helped me gain experience NHing and we had many great times at edge fighting over #1 PKer of the day. Thank you for being kind to those who deserve it and for helping those in need while online and in-game.

 

As a clan member of yours, I fucking love you mens. You are a great person to talk to and when you have time for those heart-to-heart and getting to know one another talks, they are the best. I hate to see you going through rough times, but there will be a day where you look back and you'll be thankful for knowing and meeting people who had faith in your well being. Love you tev.

#90k

#SF

#DSL

-1977

[refunt 14]

That's just depressing reading

goodluck with your situation!!!!!

[f1nalmacht 1]

First you banned me then resign mmh :P?

Edited July 26, 2017 by f1nalmacht

[Ragg 8]

You're a nice guy tbh, do what make you happy

Edited July 26, 2017 by Ragg

[Kellatha 629]

I hope you get better Tevin! I knew what your situation was when you opened up to me and I couldn't feel any more helpless than I do right now. The only thing I can do for you is give you more advice than what I have already given you and support you to the fullest. We were not that personal like friendship level, but I got to know so many things about you so fast and it really made me treasure you that much more. You are my hero, you are my role model here on SPK, and I hope that everything does turn out well for you. I know I will miss you like so many more people on the server, and at the end of the day we both know you made such a huge impact here to everyone on the server. All these days played daily for everyone's sake to enjoy the server to their fullest amount and for that I thank you. We share so many attributes and our personalities are very similar in regards to how we treat people here on the server. Take it from someone who has thought about suicide more than 100+ times because I've been hurt so much in my life. That's why I very anti social, that is why I do not like relationships, this is why I am such a nice person. No matter how much we smile and help people, no one knows what is really going on inside of us. That's what makes people like you really special and one of a kind. No matter what the amount of pain, you'll always have a smile on your face.

You'll always have a spot here Tevin! I hope this is only temporary and you do not make it permanent.

[Monty 2]

I love you @Phenomenon you will toughen this up and you'll get through this. Just like how you said you were a gifted and talented basketball player. You had good things for you. Don't let this TBI affect your entire life. You're still young. 18 years young and many more to come. You will get through this. I don't know you IRL but I believe someone like you deserves a chance to fix themselves even though, you didn't want any of this to happen. Tell yourself it will be okay Tevin. Because guess what, it will be, don't let anything bring you down and something like this. It's like a bump in the road. You'll walk out with a victor. Me and you were talking about all you want to do is spread positvity and love. We also talk about how sometimes it came out weird but that's just them not understanding what you're going through. They would never want to be in your shoes if they knew what was happening. You are strong. Strong like phenomenon. I hope you decide to come back if you get better

                                                                                            -Joshua Vance. I am.. Pvoh. I love you Tevin (Brotherly love)

Edited July 26, 2017 by Monty

[oag 17]

take care man hopefully u come back asap defintly 1 of the reasons i still play this server is u so hope to see u soon 

[It me nenad 11]

gf rm?

[f1nalmacht 1]

Very sad story but why you bann me for no valid reason?

[It me nenad 11]

2 minutes ago, f1nalmacht said:

Very sad story but why you bann me for no valid reason?

 

[pj3r 91]

GL IRL Tev

[Doggy 69]

Goodluck with this. Off one machine, onto 2 machines... I hope you become a prodigy in basketball again and everythjng goes well.

[korasi3me 12]

I think we had a beef between us so many times in-game.

But after reading this thread, it makes me feel so bad, that I am disturbing a nice guy when he have medical issues.

Sorry Tevin If I've caused you any problems or shit when I was online back in the days.

You're really an Active and reasonable person.

I wish you best of luck with your IRL issues.(YOU SHOULD DRINK WATER, EVEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT ATLEAST ADD SOME FAVORES WITH IT, IT'S NOT A SUBSTANCE THAT YOU CAN DROP OFF,I DON'T LIKE DRINKING WATER,SO I PUT A LITTLE LEMON(half a piece 1/2) THEN PUT IT IN A COOL PLACE, FORCE YOUR SELF TO DRINK IT).

All I can say that #Never_lose_hope.

 

unban plz another chance?

 

[Lets Fight 10]

Damn Tevin...I'm so sorry to hear that you have been going through this. I hope you get better, and I wish you the best man...hopefully I will have a chance to talk to you some in the cc....feel better man #Never_Give_Up. #Pray_4_Tev

[dirtbag nick 10]

 The machines are for testing, do not jump to conclusions little buddy, take it easy. It will only cause more stress and anxiety. You just have to keep on keepin on, it is all only temporary.

Edited July 27, 2017 by dirtbag nick

[Pringlejuice 0]

Tevin,

I spoke to you once and pked with you twice in my short tenure. I wanted to ask for you help recently, regarding my lost password and pin, but I saw how much fun you were having pking so I decided not to disturb. Besides my matters, I appreciate every second you dedicate to us. Your health conditions are a true shock to me, I never imagined the the most respected staff member and player was going through such trauma. As a basketball player, I can only imagine the pain of having to sacrifice it altogether. I've played the game with a broken wrist, broken finger, and twisted ankles, but internal health issues are something we cannot fight. I wish you the best and my prayers go to you. Feel better, and try to get some rest.

 

[Courtney 10]

We all love you Tevin, remember that!  Good luck on your future.

 

 

[desmond 12]

Wow, this is such a shame for the community at this time. Wish you the best though,

-Desmond

[Blight 1]

I'm new to the server so I never really got to know you. PMed you once and you seem like a really nice guy.

Hope the best for you my guy! Keep fighting!

[bully 15]

damn bro, hope all this shit works out for you my man. wishing you a good luck on a 100% recovery my dude.

 get well soon buddy

[MSL 5]

On 27/07/2017 at 0:30 AM, Doggy said:

Goodluck with this. Off one machine, onto 2 machines... I hope you become a prodigy in basketball again and everythjng goes well.

Encouraging players to stop being active?

Not staff material.