How to get noods. (and maybe more)

[cazza 10]

For all of you guys out there that wanna get dem noods or wanna drop that v card, not gonna name any names (yeezy, policemen69). Then I have the solution for you!

 

Step 1. Download tinder or meetme, all the other apps are garbage (if you don't have a smart phone then wtf is wrong with you, it's 2016 ffs go tell your mum to fix up her christmas game)

 

Step 2. Don't be a dick. Pretty self explanatory.

 

Step 3. Get a good profile pic. If you aren't gifted in the face area and look like a potato then google is your only hope.

 

Step 4. Like every girl. On tinder you swipe on meetme you like, lsn yeah, you can't afford to be picky, you like and swipe every girl until your fingers bleed or until you get someone that likes you back...probably the former.

Step 5. Get good pickup lines. This is the most important step, girls love it when you tell them "even my zipper is falling for you" *points toward crotch*. A good pickup line is a sure fired way to at least get a little bit o' titty. And yeah, use the same line multiple times if it works, who tf cares?

 

Step 6. Noods over the app itself don't count, ask for her snapchat and download apps to screen shot those noods and save them for later, I suggest "snapsave".

 

Step 7. If, by the extremely slimmest chance ever, she wants to meet you IRL then go grab your dads aftershave and glue your fuckin' hair directly upwards and shave the back and sides so you look like a fuckin' ice gem, girls love this apparently, go grab the shortest, brightest coloured shorts and a pair of bright green fucking huaraches and a tank top that says "fuck bitches get paid" and you're good to go.

 

 

Step 8.

If you meet up with the girl and get back to her place then congratulations, you're either about to be catfished by a minor and sent to prison or you're about to pop your cherry. If you do seal the deal and she asks you to wear a condom say yes but slide it off mid way because condoms are shit(it'll probably fall off your 2 incher anyway lel) and if you get her preggers, well; you know where the border is.--->

 

 

If you follow this 8 step guide i guarantee you will succeed in less than 2 weeks, 4-5 if you're yeezy/policemen69.

[Yeezus 23]

thx , right now i get nervous talking to my mom cus shes a girl , but maybe one day i can get all the girlz like u jack thx!@#!!!111!!

[Tails 12]

Jack you need to find a new picture off google mate

[cazza 10]

That's me lad

[Tails 12]

That's me lad

 

Point still remains to get a new one

[wealth 10]

u look like a potato

[plox 10]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]321[/ATTACH]

 

 

Df is this shit